When your family isn’t there to give you a night out, and you just can’t bring yourself to leave your child with a stranger…it’s tough! It can feel like the most unnatural thing in the world to do. Leaving your child with someone you barely know to go somewhere silly like the grocery store or a restaurant can seem like it’s not worth the risk. BUT, there are important reasons you need to find a trusted babysitter in your life.
Your happiness may actually be more dependent on this one simple practice than you can even realize!
If you’ve gone months or years without a date night, girls night, or an afternoon of quiet solitude, then consider these three important reasons why all moms need to find a trusted babysitter.
3 Reasons Babysitters Are Necessary
When my kids were 3 and 1, I realized there were three things I needed in my life that I was missing. Getting those three things was was the key to finding a SAHM weekly schedule that brought me happiness. The glue that held that schedule together was (you guessed it!) the BABYSITTER!
Finding a sitter was a HUGE part of making the schedule work. It was scary. I was weirded out. But, I knew it was time to step completely out of my comfort zone and pull the trigger.
When I did, it was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was finally able to delve into other parts of my life that seemed to be put on hold for so long.
These three things that I realized weren’t rocket science, but it took me a while to embrace these core ideas. See if they make sense in your world.
#1: You Need Help
For those first few years of motherhood, I had one trusted friend of my family that I would occasionally get to babysit. But it was rare. So, for several years, I didn’t do anything without my kids.
So, I didn’t get out unless I could leave my kids with my husband. But he traveled a lot at the time. So, basically–that didn’t really count.
I convinced myself that this was just my “life” now. It burned me out, and I struggled with isolation and loneliness—UNNECESSARILY. I put on a brave face and just stayed the course. But that “I can do it all by myself” attitude eventually backfired.
You can’t do it all on your own. No one can. When you don’t get regular breaks that you can count on, then lots of unhealthy feelings, habits and projections are bound to surface. It can impact your relationship with yourself, your kids, and your husband.
#2: You Need Time Alone
Getting some freedom from my children during the day to get a hair cut, go bra shopping, or to just go for coffee with friends was essential to my survival as a stay at home mom.
I just can’t be any more blunt about it—time alone is necessary for happiness.
As much as we need to be close to these little babies, we also need to be away. And, trust me, it doesn’t take long to get rejuvenated. All you need is a couple of hours a week!
But, you need to have sanity breaks and time to be all the other parts of yourself that you are! You are more than JUST mom. You are a grown ass woman with likes, dislikes, struggles, triumphs, body issues, career goals, dreams, fears, and ALL THE OTHER STUFF floating around your head and heart.
You need time away from babies, toddlers, and relationship demands to just be you. You need alone time.
#3: You Need Romance
lf you haven’t been on a date night since your baby was born (or if it’s been longer than 6 months), then sister: YOU. NEED. A. BABYSITTER.
Nobody’s relationship can withstand that kind of distance for long. Something’s gonna give. How can it not? Now, I don’t mean that you’ll get divorced if you don’t go on a date night regularly. But, the dynamic will shift. For sure.
You need uninterrupted time to digest your new roles together. But, you also need time alone to keep reminding each other that you’re more than just your new roles. You’re still all the things you WERE, too.
You need ROMANCE. You need to SEE each other. Not as the husband who can’t ever seem to figure out how to load the dishwasher the right way. Not as the wife who is knee deep in a world of baby crap constantly.
You need to put the work into your relationship if you want it to survive. That means getting out alone and doing the things you like to do together. Whatever that is! Go bar hopping, check out the latest blockbuster, hit the trails, or finally meet up with your friends that you used to see all the time.
WHATEVER it is, you need to do it.
Babysitters Have Saved My Life
I have come to rely on babysitters more than my own flesh and blood. They are my lifeline to personal time, date nights, and emergency go-to’s. They are part of our family.
There are so many reasons why kids benefit from creating relationships with others outside of the family. There’s tons of science out there on that. But, the real windfall belongs to the moms.
We get to go and be ourselves, even if it’s just for a short period. We get to breathe, relax, create, enjoy, strive, sweat, learn, and ALL the various things that make us feel human. Even if it’s just for two hours.
Moms can take two hours and turn it into magic to last a month! We are amazing creatures that way. It’s pretty crazy what moms can do with just a little bit of something good.
My advice to you moms of toddlers and babies: take the plunge. Get some help with those kids, and don’t look back.
If you’re in a MOM RUT and get back to YOURSELF, then check out my Not JUST Mom Life Plan. It’s an easy, customizable, eye opening plan to help you get back in touch with your WHOLE self. Check it out!